中国人说:有人漏夜赶考场,有人辞官归故里。洋人说:one man's meat is another man's poison. 这才是一个真实的世界。每个人都应该勇敢地追随自己的内心所好,迈出自己坚实的脚步,不要去听他人的风言风语。预祝您们幸福的晚年。
elfie 发表评论于
I don't like living in China. I have left there for 25 years. China is totally not for me. I love my car, my freedom and the quietness in my town. No one bothers to tell you what to do in this country and how to live your life. China is just the opposite. In China everyone you know is trying to step into your life. I don't want to hear all that anymore, such as you must buy this and that, practice this and that, every day they try to make you a different person than you are! I totally shut down the noise coming from my mother by not answering her messages. I don't need it.
最近看了科教纪录片《Secrets of the Blue Zones》,探讨世界几个地区长寿的奥秘。
其中一个地区是冲绳。研究人员认为冲绳人长寿的原因之一是:老人和大家庭住在一起。这样,既有生活的意义(帮忙做家务、看孩子),又不孤独。心理健康有助于身体健康。心情不好会导致身体出问题。
有一个形容美国的说法:“儿童的天堂,成人的战场,老人的坟墓。” 在美国,人老了身体不方便以后,想住到下一辈家里是几乎不可能的。住进老人院,就跟家庭、亲戚、熟人来往很少。社会往往宁愿闭着眼睛,不去想人生最后那个阶段。
记得过去看过一个电视连续剧《Frasier》,无线电台工作人员 Roz 被法庭判决,做义工。她选择的义工方式是到老人院给孤独的老人朗读书。有好几次,都是念着念着,老人就死了。
Go back to China is a good idea. Chino is in the wilderness. Leave your daughters life to their family. Chinese families try too hard to stay with their daughter - this will not result in no one's happiness, except for your daughter. Their "small family" needs to grow - and they don't belong to you anymore. Good luck.