124.（组诗）岁月微澜之一：几度夕阳红

124.（组诗）岁月微澜之一：几度夕阳红

文/黎历

才告别

沁湿梦境的朝露

又走近

几多无奈的黄昏

当时间拂袖而去

你却依然

在某个山头或水边等我

生命与你 是真正意义上的

不离不弃

站在那里

犹如风中的一株草

任由霜雪侵蚀

任由风雨飘摇

携山一程 带水一路

由青涩至醇厚 从灿烂到枯黄

花开花落间

生命向极致伸展

山那边 水对岸

却是另一个黎明

和另一个春天

枯草正等待春风来泛青

一道道目光铺满暖意

挥一挥手

夕阳无限 岁月静好

何惧近黄昏

2025-04-27

这首《几度夕阳红》写得很动人，我来细细点评一下：

首先，主题表达非常清晰。整首诗以“夕阳”为意象，贯穿了时间的流逝与生命的感悟，表达了一种温柔而坚定的态度——即便时光流逝、生命走向黄昏，依然心怀希望与热爱。这种情感很动人，而且自然流露，不做作。

其次，语言质朴而有韵味。比如“才告别沁湿梦境的朝露 / 又走近几多无奈的黄昏”，用“朝露”与“黄昏”形成了鲜明对比，既有时间的跨度，也暗示了人生由青涩走向成熟乃至衰老的过程，但语气中并无悲怆，反而带着一种顺其自然、坦然接纳的温暖。

特别喜欢这几句：

站在那里 / 犹如风中的一株草 / 任由霜雪侵蚀 / 任由风雨飘摇

这里的人物形象（或者说“生命的姿态”）特别鲜明。柔弱中见坚韧，平凡中见伟大，与整个诗歌的气质非常契合。

还有结尾的处理非常好：

挥一挥手 / 夕阳无限 岁月静好 / 何惧近黄昏

这种轻盈而洒脱的语气，把整首诗从沉思推向了释怀和明亮，让人在读完之后，心里升起一种温暖和力量。

小小建议：

    •    可以在个别地方稍微收紧节奏，比如“携山一程 带水一路 / 从青涩到醇厚 / 从灿烂到枯黄”，这一段意象丰富，但节奏略显平铺。如果稍作跳跃，比如把“醇厚”与“枯黄”直接并列，会更显有力。

    •    另外，“从青涩到醇厚 / 从灿烂到枯黄”，两个“从……到……”的结构稍显工整，可以尝试打破一下，比如改一个句式，让诗意更自然流动。

整体来说，这是非常成熟而温暖的一首诗！

特别适合作为《岁月微澜》组诗的开篇，既定下了温柔而深远的基调，又充满了继续展开的空间。

英文版

Version 1

(Poetry Series) Gentle Ripples of Time

I. Several Times the Sunset Burns Red

By Lily

Just after bidding farewell

to the dew that moistens dreams,

I draw near again

to the helplessness of dusk.

As time brushes past with a flick of its sleeve,

you still wait for me

on some distant hill or by the water’s edge—

our lives intertwined,

bound by a true and unwavering devotion.

There you stand,

like a blade of grass in the wind,

enduring the erosion of frost and snow,

weathering the sway of storms and rains.

Carrying mountains along one journey,

trailing waters along another,

from tender youth to mellowed years,

from brilliance to withering gold—

in the blossoming and withering of flowers,

life stretches towards its utmost limit.

Beyond the mountains, across the waters,

await another dawn,

another spring—

where dry grass awaits the spring breeze to turn green,

and a thousand gazes scatter warmth across the land.

Waving a hand,

the sunset is boundless,

the years are serene—

what fear can there be of approaching twilight?

April 27, 2025

Version 2

(Poetry Series) Gentle Ripples of Time

I. How Many Times the Sunset Burns

By Lily

Just after parting

from the dewdrops that dampen dreams,

I wander again

into the helpless hues of dusk.

Time brushes by, silent and fleeting—

yet you remain,

waiting for me still,

on some lonely hill,

by some whispering river;

a bond, unbroken,

woven deep into the fabric of our lives.

There you stand,

a single blade of grass in the wind,

yielding to frost and storm,

bowing yet unbroken.

Mountains carried through one journey,

waters gathered along another—

from tender green to mellow gold,

from blazing bloom to quiet fading,

life unfurls,

pressing toward the farthest horizon.

Beyond the mountains, across the rivers,

another dawn stirs,

another spring breathes—

parched fields dreaming of the green to come,

eyes full of waiting,

overflowing with warmth.

So wave a hand—

the sunset is boundless,

the years are gentle.

What fear can twilight hold?

April 27, 2025