温心小屋
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The Story of Manyun Lin
1.
10 o’clock at night, after revised chapter 16 of her novel and have it posted in her Blog, Manyun checked her QIAOQIAOHUA(whisper emailbox).
In the past a few months, Manyun got a lot of reviews from readers. Most of the reviews were showed publicly in the comments area beneath her writing. But some reviews were sent to her personal mailbox QIAOQIAOHUA linking to her blog.
Manyun is familiar to her readers’ names, but today a name she never saw before caught her eyes in a second. “Wind-blowing”, an interesting name, Manyun thought. With cautious and curiosity she clicked the mail. .
“Are you Manyun?”
Manyun was shocked by the letter with this one short sentence. She hasn’t told anyone she registered a blog and post her writing there. How could this person know her real name? Her registered name is “Wandering cloud”, nobody should know her real name.
“May I have your name?” Manyuan asked
“It’s Geroge. I have read this novel years ago, don’t you remember ?”
It must be him, the only person who has ever read this novel. Manyun knew.
“Are you and Runrun in US? How are you?” he said.
“We are good, we have been in US for 2 years.”
“You left me four years ago, I thought you are crucial that time, but later I realized you did the right thing. You save my face by letting me go. In the past two years, I have been thinking. There is no doubt of my love and affection to you. I thought I have the courage to keep my commitment , but actually I don’t. I can’t stand the loss.
The loss I mean is not her, nor finical loss, but my children. I can’t stand losing my two kids. It will be tremendously painful. She knew me, she threatened she will tell the truth to my children and let them stay away from me if I still keep relationship with you or I divorce with her. She said that will be the heaviest punishment to me.”
“I never doubted you, never thought your commitments a designed trick. People in romance is a particular group of people, their heads are filled with love, no space for anything else. They will say anything even without knowing what they are talking about. You and your wife have been in marriage for more than 20 years, bones are broken, tendons are still there, the emotional connection between you and her will not disappear. Disregarding this, you have two excellent children. What makes you fly globally year around tirelessly? Your children, you know this. “
“You are right. No matter what kind a relationship between me and her at the very beginning, many years went by, all love, affection and passion have been simplified to one love: the love in families. I know my responsibility to her, the responsibility of keeping a honorable family in front of my kids and outsiders. I feel sorry by saying these to you now.”
“You don’t need to say sorry to me. You came to me since you felt bored of your life, the life has been almost the same in days, months, years. There is nothing wrong of it, but you expected something different, something might be risky, but can make you feel excited. I think I have been going through a similar life process as you did in the past two years. I feel happy and appreciate it. You might say that’s because two years is not long enough to feel boring. Probably, when happiness is something around you all the time, then for many people, it is not a happiness anymore .
“You are a good woman, I felt this when I had first glance at you. I just feel sorry for you. Where do you live now?”
“CT”
“You are in East coast. I am in West coast. Can I go to see you and Runrun when I get opportunity of having business trips in that region ?. “
“No. I enjoy my life, you and your wife’s relationship should have been fixed. we shouldn’t put us into trouble again.”
“I don’t know, I just want to see you again. You may think me a hypocrite since I said those minutes ago. But losing you is a big hit to me, it took me two years to crawl out of the dark cave.
“I read a sentence recently and think it philosophic. Here it is. The happiness to a married man comes from the women he didn’t marry to. I have a sentence to match this. Marriage is the way people acquire the stable interest. But the greedy nature of human being make people seek the pleasure out of the marriage. I am not only talking men, women same.”
“I understand and respect your decision. Can we talk like this in the future?”
The words sound familiar to Manyun. George is a respective, considerate and caring person, whom Manyun admired to.
“No. that’s a bad idea for both of us. I have married. Although my husband is 1o years older than me, he treats me and Runrun well, I appreciate and be happy with him. I am busy, I have a full time job in the daytime ,I need to take care of Runrun at night, and I would like to do some writing after Runrun going to bed.”
“You married? When? you told me you are applying investment immigration. Is the reason you broke with me?”
“There is no connection between the two things. It’s me, I don’t think I will be happy without any burden in my mind no matter what the result will be if we keep the relationship.”
“I understand. Then can we talk once a week? Talking with you as a friend make me feel happy and satisfied. Most of time, I feel I am living like a zombie who can’t feel any happiness at all.”
A piece of memory jumped into Manyun’s mind. Four year ago, George was at Hanzhou airport waiting the flight back to his home in San Francisco. He just read Manyun’s text in which she said she decided quitting their relationship. George asked why and sent her a self-portrait of him. With lowed-head, gloomy eyes, the man in the picture was in a deep sorrow. Manyun couldn’t believe this is George, the man being successful in work and life, but staying low-key.
“Ok”, hesitantly, Manyun typed this word and clicked the “send “button.
“But as you know, now my wife watches me like a detective , I can’t reach you the ways I used before, it is safe here.”
Manyun wants to laugh, but the laugher seems getting stuck at her throat, too hard to be released.
Three years ago when George unwittingly forgot deleting an email between him and Manyun, his wife Lindsey found his affair. Outrage turned Lindsey into a lion, she screamed, she punched, she kicked. Since then, George was under Lindsey’s surveillance.
