老二本周的作业是在全班同学面前吐槽她姐 （嗯， 作业是Oral Presentation:  5 out of 500 things that irritate me about my sibling and how I deal with them）。 老妈自然是小白鼠， 听完之后， 我的感觉就是：最可恨的人不是阶级敌人， 而是你姐！ 大家自己感觉一下吧。 我的中文翻译大家将就着看哈

“正如你们都知道的， 我有个姐姐。 她比我大， 所以我就理所当然地成了她的跟班了。 她要是做事出了错， 比如说把水洒了一地， 就会叫我去拿纸巾。 如果我太慢了， 她就会对我大呼小叫。 我的处理方式是对着她大叫，告诉她小心我不干了 （别这么做， 这根！本！不起作用， 我已经试过了）。

我姐让我生气的另一件事就是她总是觉得自己是对的。 即使是她明显做了错事， 她不是觉得她没做， 就是认为是我做的。我的处理方式是对她很刻薄， 不理她， 或对她大叫。 这会让我最终觉得好过点。

我姐让我生气的第三件事是即使我尽我最大的努力去惹恼她， 她也很少被我惹恼。我的处理方式是变本加厉地骚扰她（老妈加注：妹妹，你这是不作不死的节奏呀）， 这个再没效果，我就不理她。这也让我想起我姐让我生气的下一件事。

我不喜欢她不理我。 我对她刻薄一！分！钟！， 她可以一！小！时！不理我。我不理她没啥了不起， 因为我只是不理她一小会 （（老妈加注：嗯，马列主义一般都是用在别人身上滴）。 通常，都是我向她道歉，要她跟我说话，但她就是不理我， 所以我就说“好吧”，然后继续惹恼她 （像所有的弟弟妹妹一样（老妈加注：我就没干过这种事））。

我姐让我生气的最后一件事是我做作业或读书时，她特讨厌。显而易见，在我阅读的时候，她必！须！唱歌，在我写作业的时候， 她必！须！说话或者告诉我该怎么做我！的！作业。我的处理方式是对她大叫： 闭嘴！她通常就停了。“

怎么样？大家是不是也想开启吐槽模式？

As most of you know, I have a sister. She is older than me so apparently that makes me her sidekick. She usually will be doing something and she fails like spills water and tells me to get her a paper towel. If I’m too slow, she will shout at me. How I deal with this is I shout at her and tell her not to lose me around (do not try this it does NOT work, I tried).

Another thing that irritates me about my sister is how she thinks she’s always right. She obviously does something wrong, but she thinks she did not do it or I did. I deal  with this by being mean, giving her silent treatment or shout at her. This will make me feel better in the end.

The third thing that irritates me about my sister is the fact that she rarely gets annoyed, even when I’m trying my hardest to annoy her. I deal with this by trying harder until I have to give her the silent treatment which brings me to my next irritating fact about my sister.

I don’t like it when she gives me the silent treatment. I do something mean for 1 minute, and she rejects me for an hour. It’s OK when I give her the silent treatment because I don’t do it for as long. Usually, what happens is I try saying sorry and asking her to speak to me but she doesn’t do so I would just say “fine” and keep annoying her (like most younger siblings).

The last thing that annoys me about my sister is the fact that she’s really annoying when I’m doing homework or reading because obviously she HAS to sing while I’m trying to read or she HAS to talk and  tell me what to do for my homework while I’m doing homework.. What I do to stop this is loudly yell “shut up”. She would usually stop after that.